Fat Ass Chocolate Cake

Ok, this cake is so not healthy. Nor was it intended to be. Sweden masters most desserts, but there are two things that do not exist here. Chocolate cake and American style cookies. Cookies are up next, but let's start with this baby first.

 Let me just say, that this goes against all I'm for...but once a year I need it. I made it for my birthday, and for those of you that know me, you know that I love chocolate and that my birthday was far too long to be posting this now, but I've had bigger fish to fry.

At first glance, you may choke at the amounts of sugar...but don't blame me. I give Martha Stewart full credit and blame.

NEEDS:
3 sticks unsalted butter
3/4 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup boiling water
3 cups cake flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/4 cups sugar
4 lg eggs, lightly beaten
1 tbl vanilla
1 cup milk

To Do:
-Pre heat your oven to 175c or 350f
-Whisk cocoa into boiling water, set aside
-Sift flour, baking soda and salt
-Cream butter and sugar until fluffy, add eggs one at a time, and then vanilla
-Whisk milk into cocoa mixture
-Add flour to butter mixture, in three portions, alternating with cocoa mixture
-Pour into three round buttered pans and bake for 35-40 mins
-Level off bottom and middle cake layers with a serrated knife, and let cool completely.

For the Frosting:
-2 cups butter, softened
-7 cups powdered sugar
-2.5 cups cocoa powder
-1 tsp vanilla
-1 cup milk (if more is needed, add teaspoon, by teaspoon until desired consistancy is reached)

To Do:
-Whip all ingredients together, frost cake when completely cool.

NOTE: This frosting is sicky sweet when tasted alone. I almost threw the entire batch away. However...when paired with the cake, it is incredible.

Cheaters Sometimes Prosper

When you're short on time and big on impressing, boy, do I have a cake for you. Due to it's embarassing nature, I took no photos...but I can promise it looked good!

It started with an idea to throw a baby shower, and ended with all attendants raving about the cake. Most times I would be happy to share the recipe, proud of my creation and feeling slightly puffy in the chest. This time however, was a bit different. Why? Because it started with an .89 cent box of Betty Crocker cake mix and a $1.99 can of "Fluffy White".

To my defense, life is kind of chaotic. Siggy just hit the ten month mark, I went back to work full time, and trying to find a balance between Motherhood, working gal, wife and just Wendy, is...well, it's a bitch. So, buying box never seemed so right or so wrong. Solution....? Take a look.


Needs:
2 boxes of Yellow, Super Moist cake mix
1 cup melted Coconut Oil
2 cups Guava Juice
6 Eggs

2 cans Fluffy White Frosting
1/4 cup Unsweetened Coconut Milk
1 cup Unsweetened Shredded Coconut
1/4 cup Confections Sugar
1/2 cup Plain Turkish Yogurt

To Do:
Follow cake box directions, using coconut oil in place of vegetable oil and replacing the water with guava juice. Bake accordingly in four greased 9" rounds.

In the meantime, whisk frosting, coconut milk, coconut flakes, sugar and yogurt. The frosting is a bit more runny than your average, but that's ok. After mixing well, cover and refridgerate until ready for use.

Note: Make sure cake is completely cooled before frosting. And Voila. You have an easy peasy slightly sleazy, guava cake with coconut cream frosting.

Yogi Dream

This dessert is one of extreme simplicity. Perfect for a summer night, as a substitute for ice cream, or a pretty fancy alternative to cap off your next dinner party. I'm sure there are plenty of you who have tried this before, so this is for those of you who have not.

Needs:
Turkish Yogurt
Fresh or Frozen Raspberries and Blackberries
Walnuts, chopped
Pistachio Nuts, chopped
Honey

To Do:
Fill half of a wine glass with yogurt, top with a heap of berries, chopped nuts and drizzle with honey.

Carrot Muffins (you can feel good about)

Baked goods make my world go round. They also make my ass round, which is why I'm on a constant lookout for guilt-free goods. This one is an all time favorite hos Aronsson. If you prefer a bread, use a bread pan. If you want to trick yourself or your family members into thinking you're eating cake...cake tin. We do all three, with a slight moderation of the bake time. And when the thoughts of cream cheese send you-a-jigglin, skip out and drizzle with a little honey instead.

Needs:
1 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup raw sugar
3/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
3 eggs
3 tbl ground flaxseed
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups grated carrots
1 cup chopped walnuts

Frosting:
1/4 cup tofu cream cheese
2 tbl soft butter or coconut oil
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup raw confections sugar  (you can replace sugar with agave syrup or honey, for more of an icing)

To Do:
Preheat oven to 350F/175C
Whisk dry ingredients, minus the sugar.
Beat eggs, sugar and applesauce in a separate bowl.
Add dry ingredients to wet, stir well.
Fold in carrots and walnuts.
Bake 15-20 mins, add an extra 5 mins if using a bread or cake pan.
Stick a knife in the middle to make sure they're done.

For the Frosting:
Beat all ingredients together, frost when cool.

Sweet Tate Cookies

Saturday night, 10pm and the craving for chocolate takes over. No eggs in the fridge and no drive to get off my ass and go buy some. What I did have was some cocoa powder, a little flour and a batch of sweet potato puree that I had just whipped up for the baby. The result....heavenly, the act of stealing food from own child....one of the seven deadly, but once you try this brownie-like cookie all ungodly acts will be forgiven and forgotten. And because there are no eggs, you can lick the spoon without that extra little kick of Salmonella.

Needs:
4 tbls coconut oil or butter
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup raw sugar or agave syrup
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp coffee
2/3 cup sweet potato puree

-Pre-heat your oven to 350 and grease your cookie sheet
-Melt coconut oil or butter on your stovetop, remove from heat and whisk in cocoa powder.
-Whisk together all dry ingredients, including sugar. (If using agave, whisk into cocoa mix)
-Stir in sweet potato, coffee and vanilla. Mix well.
-Add cocoa mixture and stir until blended.
-Drop mixture onto greased cookie with a tablespoon.
-Gently press a few chopped walnuts onto each cookie.
-Bake for 10-12 mins, let cool on wire rack completely.
-Do not over bake, these cookies are meant to be soft and chewy...enjoy!
 (makes 12 good size cookies)

A Little Tip:
Fruit and veggie purees are fabulous for baking and freeze super well. One easy way to do it is by making up a big batch and freezing it in ice cube trays. Once frozen just pop out, stick in a ziploc and label. This is how I make my baby food and I love it. You can grab the perfect portion for babes or for breads and baked goods.